'Toys Of Heaven

2007-03-18T15:37:00.000+08:00

srry 4 the words i said...

though she will nvr be able to read or c this post.

but i still have to say wat i feel.

calling slut was intentionally but it hurts me to call her those words. to me she is my world. but i have hurted her too much. its best she leave me hating me... i don wan to hurt her anymore... im srry 4 the words i said. each words i typed to her pained my heart deeply. it was lyk someone stabbing my heart. but its the onli way 4 u to leave me 4ever. even if she wans to go bac wif me i cannot stand facing her after how i have hurt and lost her trust. after all it srry 4 the words i said. each words i typed to her pained my heart deeply. it was lyk someone stabbing my heart. but its the onli way 4 u to leave me 4ever. even if she wans to go bac wif me i cannot stand facing her after how i have hurt and lost her trust. hope she will find one who does not hurt her as much as i do.

2007-02-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YVONNE LIM YU YING...

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY MRS. LIM

reali spent a happy valentine bday wif my Mrs. Lim. reali knew how much u meant to me tis morning. i reali love u alot. today though it was happy, it was spoilt by the fish & co. service. haha...

thnx 4 the gift you gave me... i reali love ur gift a lot... Love You!

2007-01-20T18:18:00.000+08:00

m at a chalet now.

bliss is nt a reality... reali feel lyk endin everything... its too much. doin cover-up until lyk tt... m i nt worthy to be urs tt things tt u have to things to such an extend. if yes, plz tell me so lets end tis. lookin at others reali make me wonder. if im juz a pit stoP. very thing to me was a bliss from above till the things u did today.

bliss is reali nt a reality.

2007-01-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a wonderful?, happy? day. ahhhh... its a good day

hahaha.... was afandi's bday yesterday. happy bday to you. celebrated at georges, and had fun... well i tot i was wasted but nope... i was high reali high... haha... but reali had fun yesterday over at georges... some headed down to omars place but i went hme... ahahaha... i seem to be a party pooper... lol... nic said i wacked him wen he called me to drink somemore but i onli rmb juz shoutin and pushin him away to not disturb me... lol...

but yesterday was reali fun... me nic and tau had lots of gayin session.. haha...

2007-01-06T03:36:00.000+08:00

huuuu...

had a long day today. 1st time in my entire life in tp had i stayed so latein sch... haha... but yea had fun in sch... me nic and afandi was lyk playin nfs carbon tryin to get the highest drift score... blah!

den head to to pasir ris to settle some stuff. and had a bad day today, due to some reasons i don wannna tok abt. den down to east coast.. man i had slackin fun dere... dunno if the rest enjoyed it... but i enjoyed it... haha...

gonna go fishin tml... weet~!

2007-01-04T20:21:00.000+08:00

it sucks being sick

and yea my post will be abt my sickness..

1st it started off wif a sore throat, den cough and now flu when my throat is better... it sux to be sick, i do not hav strength now... blah!

omg juz 2 days ago i had tis experience. i cannot get up frm my slp. my mind is awake but i can't seem to open my eyes. when i manage to open dem abit. and tried to start movin, i can't move at all. finally i can move a bit. i found my soul kind of left my body. i was scared, its lyk a ghost is possessin me lyk tt..(at tis point im still slpin juz tt in my dreams im experiencin this thing. to make it worse i noe im still slpin but i can't get my self to wake up, onli manage to do it in my dreams.) i had to crawel to my mums room onli to find myself being sort of lyk dragged bac to my rm by ntin... fark... was reali struggling. to cut everything short when i reali woke up, i had no strength left, its not i cannot move, but i reali had no strength left. its lyk the struggling was real..

tink dere is something in my room

2006-12-31T17:10:00.000+08:00

ok 1st of all thnx to hf for hlpin me change skin... haha i did not kept to my words abt bloggin straight away.. but u noe tis things need to have the right mood to do it??? haha... to jiahui: i don have to keep changing my skin u noe.. hehe....

man lots of things have happen lately and im kind of confused wif wat to do... maybe i shld juz step back a little... haha...

IT'S NEW YEARS EVE.... time to go party.. haha... k i gtg..

2006-10-20T03:04:00.000+08:00

juz realise it's been ages since i last work out... the last was during npcc...

boy m i out of shape now... no one to find to go workout wif... my onli partner cannto join me coze his gf say don lyk nice build guys... -.- wth! haha... workout does not mean nid to have bulgin muscles or wat... juz keepin fit... anyway been so small build onli giv ppl bully onli... it irritates me alot... damn it...

looks lyk i gotta go find ppl to go wif me...

BLUBBER!!!!!

2006-10-19T00:17:00.000+08:00

fark have to rewrite tis fuckin post...

everything seems to be goin wrong 4 me... i reali wanna die... my head hurts... almost as though i have juz vomitted after drinkin... damn tired of my life... losing myself each time i live... im startin to don understand myself anymore...

can anyone pull me bac on track in my life...? anyone will do...

fark... don wanna rewrite anymore... hell wif my life

2006-09-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

darn singtel and starhub... wan quarrel don get we customers involve can????

1st was maple den msn? den nx wat??????.... fuck man.... wat sort of services huh?!

2006-09-07T04:22:00.000+08:00

ok wild wild wet is ermmm... borin? fun?

haha... k la its not bad la... juz lyk the lazy pool... sunbath dere and juz float along the water... sunbath half way one asshole wan to find us daiji... den run away until dunno where... disturb my relaxin moment... haha... den we played a prank on jh... left him holdin on to the rope while me ben bc ran away... haha... den he chase until the playground swimmin pool....

seriously need to cut down on my smokin... run until i breathe lyk dunno wat lyk tt... the lazy pool especially... walkin against the urrent reali difficult... haha... the skyrider we sat... macham lyk wan to break lyk tt... ben and bc scared lyk dunno wat lyk tt... they cycle damn slow... lyk scared dey fall off... haha... me and jh was lyk... wth... small kid not scared... a 19 yr old guy scared... haha...

yea juz dyed my hair le... don tink is reali tt nice as wat jh told me... now is bac to the borin life in front of a com... k la... lazy type le... bye bye..

2006-09-06T12:17:00.000+08:00

shld be a fn day today... gonna go wild wild wet... lol.... hope to pick up some gals... yeah... LOL...

haha... lame... currently waitin 4 the farking scamer jh... wastin my time onli... finally..... k gtg le

2006-08-23T00:46:00.000+08:00

let me tell u i did not say u not enuff frenes or wat... im juz sayin u have been neglectin us ever since u got a stead... and rmb one thing u urself swear say u will not neglect ur frenes...so rite now u don even have the right to say him... juz go tink abt it... and abt beat ppl all tis... go and tink i hlp reason ok... u were in the wrong and u go scold bac... but i still hlp u....and also tis sentence abt bc the thing...i nvr hlp.... i lyk tis word i nvr hlp
wahahahahahhaahaha i nvr hlp.......... yeah i love tis i nvr hlp... i nvr hlp... i nvr hlp... ty i juz realise wat a failure frene i am...

p.s i tink u muz be dunno me well.. im usin moodiness as an excuse to blog tis so as not to make u tink abt my post...

2006-08-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

juz came bac frm katong....

had a long day... haha...

i find tt wat i juz blog is getting more and more true.... haiz....

disappointed

2006-08-21T04:03:00.000+08:00

after wat happen over tis month i hav been thinking

how is it a gd frene of urs can do something 4 his gf and not for a friend 4 life?
how is it frenes can quarrel over a gal?
how is it tt one can change juz because of one gal?
how is it tt tis gal in ur life(as ur frenes gf) can change ur entire life in one night?
how is it tt things u and ur frene plan together changed juz because his gal said she wan/can/wanna try to do it?
how is it tt our freneships can be so easily broken?, quarrel juz because ur nt invite to and outing or wat?
how is it tt i can still believe in a freneship when my other frenes have pointed out tt im being betrayed and i noe tt i m being betrayed?
how is it tt i get tis feeling tt im treating one as my best frene but he does not treat me as one?

so many hows but not one i can find an ans.... maybe i noe the ans but it's not the ans i wan so im finding an alternative ans... it is funny how a gal can change a men's entire life... whether she is relate in ur life or indirectly in ur life... i seriously dunno wat the fuck im bloggin abt now...

i damn moody now... hate the days when it cmes to tis... juz feel lyk closing myself away frm the outside world.... it is a cruel world there... it is cold and unfeeling... all frenes come and go in life... some may come bac... but some juz disappears into the rain... and u are not able to c them anymore... i juz feel tt i cannot find peace in any of my frenes... im seriously lost... i feel tt if any of my frenes gf tell dem not to hang out wif us or me dey will do it. will dey? or will dey shout at them for wanting to cause the friendship to be broken? i tink they will listen to them.... as i see things now... all of my frenes think tt their gf are their lives, wat they wish 4 shld be accomplished.... some let their gf control their entire life, lyk whether to go out wif u or wat.... some use to any time in the day is able to go out wif u when u need to buy some thing but after having a gf dey cme 1st, muz accomdate to the gf timing... things dey use to juz say dey can do it... now? dey will tell u:'i ask 'so and so 1st', den i tell u.... when dey used to:' ok stead'....forgetting abt their own frenes dey have left behind... don u all think so... go take a look and c around... u can c how frenes quarrel, betray,etc.... and u will noe im rite... coze i have faced all this problem before...

whether or not it happens to me or my frenes i have all seen it.... to my guy frenes is it worth to fight over a gal? betray each other because of dem? i don feel so... coze the gal may walk out of ur life anytime...

ppl don take tis post to heart... juz feeling dem moody so i decided to blog tis post... even if u wanna reply or retort to my post... go and seriously think abt it 1st and u can c wat i say will be true.... oh yeah and don give me all tis swear ar sompah, cause i noe in the end u will go against wat u swear or sompah...

2006-08-17T04:48:00.000+08:00

alritey mates... Earth dragon is here...

haha... LOL... at nic hse now... juz finish highlighting my hair... but it does not seem to have any colour at all.. lol... but its alrite... here have to thnx my hairstylist-DA SAO...^^ haha... lol.... brought my laptop along and now almost all of dem are playin maple.... haha...

holiday starts tml... wahhaha... but still nid to study... exams are comin the wk after nx... ahhhhhh!!!! cannot fail ar... arbo i out of sch le... muz study....

2006-08-16T00:52:00.000+08:00

mums bac frm thailand....

wif onli my adidas bag... though it is not reali wat i wan... haha.... mum says the shoes dere the quality not good so she did not get my shoes... sads... haha... the cupboard 4 my room is also up... getting my room soon after my mum and i get some things... and den i offically have my own room...

weeeehehehe.... firework is my life~

2006-08-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

borin life...

need a job... few of my friends are plannin on goin to genting.... and i nid money!!!!!!!!!!!! lol...wished holidays 4 me would juz come now... reali nid a break...

slp slp slp... nid a rest badly....~

2006-08-13T19:01:00.000+08:00

finally gt up frm the long night yesterday...

ben bday was not reali a success.... somethings happen tt even the police came to visit me and to wish ben a happy bday... haha... LOL.... reali tiring nite... i and junheng cleaned up my whole hse.. and thnx to those who hlped but i did not noe...

dads bacccccc.... lol haven gt the chance to tok to him... tink he will ask me y the corridor so smelly... haiz.... BOYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-12T18:05:00.000+08:00

been days since i last blog

Loads of ppl comin down my hse tonite... to celebrate ben's bday... Happy bday ben!!!!!

was at ecp the whole nite yesterday... boy m i tired.... juz woke up at ard 5 today.... woooo... LOL haha... exams are comin... fuck man... nic and hui peng better stop suanin me abt u having holidays le...

mum and dad overseas... lets hope i'll enjoy their absence.. LOL haha

2006-08-09T06:49:00.000+08:00

wwoooooo wat a tiring day.....

after sch went to bedok inter to do some stuff... den sabrina and datou came to meet me, nick and jh.... eat a while, den went to accompany datou to take his mc.... coze he got sore eyes... den he say tonite happenin... haha... den nic gt drunk... LOL... after jh datou and ben came my hse before we went to meet the rest....

after we meet them some things crop up... den went to clarke quay 80 bar... haha drank abit dere... found tt beer does not taste as bitter as when i first taste...

fark la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i lost in gambling today... not my day after all.... sads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gotta save money leh.... wanna make big babes...

2006-08-08T12:08:00.000+08:00

wat is the activity 4 tonite...

so boring at hme... haiz gotta go sch soon... don wanna stay at home playin com onli... juz now jh call say need go pai shen.... how i pai?????? jh use ur head... wahahahahahaha.... national day tml???

how am i gonna spend it? wats impt is tonite!!!!!!!!! come on activities.... come to me... come to me...... come.....~

2006-08-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

wooohooo 1st time bloggin on my new laptop...

yea baby... finally mum and dad gt me my laptop... woohooo... wats more nx wk my new rm will be rdy too... finally don't have to share a room wif my bro... more privacy.... wahahahaha...

semester test comin soon le... gotta pass if i wanna stay in tp... don wanna drop out.... chiong ar!!!!!!!! lately spend money lyk dunno wat... went to check my bank balance... found out i left freaking 27 bunny onli.... wth... dunno how i have been spendin dem... wahhhhh die le la...

mum and dad goin out of town tis wk... me and a few guys plan to have a party over at my place... wahahaha... tink lots of ppl gonna get drunk.. tt is if we can get the drinks... or else ntin to do le.. haha

2006-07-31T20:41:00.000+08:00

blah! blah! blah!

long post of blah!... lol.... go catch dragon tiger gates... nice show

2006-07-29T07:23:00.000+08:00

Ok better blog.... be4 er sao nag me to blog... LOL!!!

ahhh got the mood to blog but my head is hurting terribly...

MAN!!! juz cme back hme from 6 hrs of dota... im nvr gonna do tt again... felt slpy but cannot slp... play till im having a headache now... boy im tired... flksdjflksadjflksahglksdjg;lsdajgsdjfds.f.sd.g.sg.sg.sdf

crappy now... argh!!!!!!!!!!!! kajfsd;ashglksrjglaksdhgjldsahg

ppl i juz wanna say something... u wan to say srry to me its ok... but don keep sayin coze i hate the word srry... if i say its alrite or nvm plz don tell me srry again... and don think i say lyk tt u all cme irritate me wif the sry.... lyk some ppl(those who will do it u noe urself ar....)

im tired... a gd nite to all... and have a nice day... thank 4 everything... gd bye my family and frenes... =P

2006-07-21T13:46:00.000+08:00

haiz=P

juz felt the pinch somewhere when i went out wif my best bro nic and his gf and clar shiying... and realise i seems to be the odd one out... haha.. so uneasy... all couple i lightbulb dere... nx time don wan go extra tag along .. haha...

tired ar.... sch is boring... with ntin to do... hope to find some activities soon.... HOLIDAY.... wash it was here faster.... buay tahan... somemore weather so hot.. sweat lyk dunno wat... make me cannot think clearly... haha...

LAME!!! LAME POST!!!!

2006-07-15T04:40:00.000+08:00

my whole world is in a mess rite now... i dunno who to listen to and i dunno wat m doin is it correct or wrong... even rite now i do tis some ppl will say i ps dem... i do tt ppl will say i harm dem... i seem lyk a cause of trouble to everyone around me... i seriously dunno wat to do now...

maybe i shld juz let everything go.. and be myself 10yrs ago... where everything may not matters to me... with age comes more problem... guess it is part of growin up in life... haiz... some times i say tis but m afraid it maybe the opposite when i listen to others... i find tt im losin myself... losin confidence in myself... don seem to the happy boy i used to be... seem to be puttin up a front...

anyway... thnx nic... my 12 yrs frene... when everyone seem to turn their backs on me i noe u will be dere to support me... in turn i will do the same... guess my life without u tis half bro of mine will be much more worse where i cannot trust anyone... thnx 4 everything... includin ppl who stood by me...

2006-07-13T01:04:00.000+08:00

the above is the world im living in now.....

2006-07-12T16:55:00.000+08:00

Full -time Maid... that is what i feel i am now....

wanna employ me? wats ur pay??? den i decide whether want to work for you... haha... now no more employer employ worker... now employee see whether want to work for employer...

because of upgrading and stuff i have to have wall, mop floor and etc. household chores now all must do... i know the feeling of how my mum feels when she cleans the house...

last smoking counseling tomorrow... and friday must go down outram to pay the fine... why my first cry on earth must be december.... Y MUM?!

2006-07-08T12:38:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a fun and tiring day.... went to school early in the morning at around 7++. ended sch at around 1130... frm 1130 up to around 1400, boy was i damn boredbut luckily had taufiq and 'air' with me... thank you for your company

after tt went down to esplanade to collect pay... ben's pay... and sat at hagan'daz to eat ice cream... woohoo.. it was fanastic... we had fordue, hagan'daz cream shake, and irsh bailey's coffee. WEET!~ the fordue was the best... ice-cream dipped in hot chocolate... delicious... then we went up to the terence to have a smoke... boy it was very relaxing.... laid down on the carpet grass until i do not want to stand up... execpt tt it was quite pokey....

after we had dinner at jack's place... together with datou, ben,nic, cheryl, boon chao, and finally me..^^ had steak... fire steak... steak with brandy... (drooling)... haha...

2006-07-06T18:33:00.000+08:00

Never tell taufiq and huiping anything....

sure kenna disturb....

think funny is it....

lol... jkin...

haiz.... school is boring... same old stuff... one more day to steak... haha... tried japanese cigg.. found out that it is much smoother then another country and singapore cigg...

2006-07-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

Soccer fever is gonna be over soon....

less income for some of my friends and lesser money loss for them then...

England is out and i heard over the radio it is because of partying too much and over ehemmmm at night... haha!!! kinda lame... to someone... don't be so sad... u lose some u gain some alright....

seems lyk im bac to consoling ppl again... dey better pay me... haha... juz jkin... boy is it boring this few days....

last 2 days ago, went to jack's place to eat steak... and man was it superb... gotta go one day again... with the right ppl... haha...but best eat wif red wine... but no money...

to jun heng not i want to break group or what... but seriously my house upgrading i need to pack alot of stuff... so i have to be home eearly... i also got little time to sleep... srry

2006-06-29T22:20:00.000+08:00

A thought juz came into my mind....

How cool would it be to be a assasin or a secret agent, trained in handling weapons and martial arts... hmmm it would be fantastic... wouldn't it? hahaha... juz watched a couple of shows and really tot... if i had all this skills... woooohooo... im gonna make it big.... able to fight while dismantling the enemies weapons... man would that be cool...!^^

And the cars i will be able to drive... the thought of it juz makes me really envy those assains out there... haha.... anyway all of tis is juz a thought..

my impossible dream to learn to be an assasin...^^ weet~

2006-06-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol have been buying vcd over the past few days to watch... juz to keep myself occupied at hme.. haha.. bac to frenzy buying of vcds... of coze im buying ral stuff in case of some minds who think i buying imitation stuff..

a guy wif class tt is wat i call..^^

hahahahaha

2006-06-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

sch has started...

not even a week and im freaking bored of sch... this shows u how i, Edmund Lim Hu Shen, dislike poly life. haha... seems lytk my cousin is of poly life too.. and she is not even in 2nd year... haha... hmmm... gonna go rmb who told me tt poly life is so relaxing... im gonna dig their eyes out, cut off their tongues and sew their mouths together.. hmmm den maybe i'll go and bluff my juniors'.

kindof evil heh. but i don care.

skdjflksahflksdjflksdjf...

kinda sound lyk a small child.... 4get it... where are the gals???? MY LIFE?????

2006-06-16T10:50:00.000+08:00

seems to be a long time since i last blog....

damn lose money on soccer... NB!!!!!

fuck la

germany is such a disappointment.... holiday is here... wif ntin to do again... sianed.... where is all the outing... feel lyk goin sentosa sia... go sun bath... haha... hate havin upgrading of my hse... fucking noisy... and so inconvient... here block dere block... hav to take one detour to juz go to the bus stop... arghhh!!!

2006-05-02T18:33:00.000+08:00

a week has past since sch start..

and all the fun is gonna stop soon.

lyk campin at 3rd lvl library wif sebas and frenes. haha had lots of fun. juz the other day me and nic tot we were stuck in the lift. wat happen was i press 6th floor and the door close. but the lift nvr move. man was i scared. tot i so sway kenna stuck. nic tried to force open the door. and the siren sound 4 a few sec. when i was abt to press the bell the lift door open. guess where are we.

on the 6th lvl. nb we tot we have step in to the spiritirual world. lift nvr move and we ended up at 6th floor. wahhhhhh!!!! our goosebump all raise. i told myself not to use the lift at 3 anymore. wat if i reali got into the s.w. haha watch too much horror movie. LOL!!!!

2006-04-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

wanna ask tis qn to all.

why do ppl who have fallen out of love resort to smokin?

to gain sympathy or its juz too depress so dey wan to kill theirself?
lol i tink i noe the ans and in no position to say all tis. but seriously why? not to point fingers or say anyone. but i notice tis trent so im juz wondering. haha smoking kills. tt is wat my 'mum' and 'sis' use to say to lecture us brothers. haha. tot and wan to quit smokin but it is hard to do so. hope someone will cme into my world and make me stop. haha. fanatizing! LOL!

goin to rnb party tis sat. wooooo!!!! go and 'bua' girls tt is wat jh tell me to do.. haha. i don tink i will dare to do it. or even go down to the dance floor. haha. don wanna embrasse myself.

ahhh sebas toh is gonna join our grp wonder how he will fare... haha

2006-04-24T20:46:00.002+08:00

wanna ask tis qn to all.

why do ppl who have fallen out of love resort to smokin?

to gain sympathy or its juz too depress so dey wan to kill theirself?

lol i tink i noe the ans and in no position to say all tis. but seriously why? not to point fingers or say anyone. but i notice tis trent so im juz wondering. haha smoking kills. tt is wat my 'mum' and 'sis' use to say to lecture us brothers. haha. tot and wan to quit smokin but it is hard to do so. hope someone will cme into my world and make me stop. haha. fanatizing! LOL!

goin to rnb party tis sat. wooooo!!!! go and 'bua' girls tt is wat jh tell me to do.. haha. i don tink i will dare to do it. or even go down to the dance floor. haha. don wanna embrasse myself.

ahhh sebas toh is gonna join our grp wonder how he will fare... haha

2006-04-24T20:46:00.001+08:00

wanna ask tis qn to all.

why do ppl who have fallen out of love resort to smokin?

to gain sympathy or its juz too depress so dey wan to kill theirself?

lol i tink i noe the ans and in no position to say all tis. but seriously why? not to point fingers or say anyone. but i notice tis trent so im juz wondering. haha smoking kills. tt is wat my 'mum' and 'sis' use to say to lecture us brothers. haha. tot and wan to quit smokin but it is hard to do so. hope someone will cme into my world and make me stop. haha. fanatizing! LOL!

goin to rnb party tis sat. wooooo!!!! go and 'bua' girls tt is wat jh tell me to do.. haha. i don tink i will dare to do it. or even go down to the dance floor. haha. don wanna embrasse myself.

ahhh sebas toh is gonna join our grp wonder how he will fare... haha

2006-04-24T20:46:00.000+08:00

wanna ask tis qn to all.

why do ppl who have fallen out of love resort to smokin?

to gain sympathy or its juz too depress so dey wan to kill theirself?

lol i tink i noe the ans and in no position to say all tis. but seriously why? haha smoking kills. tt is wat my 'mum' and 'sis' use to say to lecture us brothers. haha. tot and wan to quit smokin but it is hard to do so. hope someone will cme into my world and make me stop. haha. fanatizing! LOL!

goin to rnb party tis sat. wooooo!!!! go and 'bua' girls tt is wat jh tell me to do.. haha. i don tink i will dare to do it. or even go down to the dance floor. haha. don wanna embrasse myself.

ahhh sebas toh is gonna join our grp wonder how he will fare... haha

2006-04-16T10:10:00.000+08:00

i' hav been tink 4 the past few days.

How a real frene will reali treat you.

i noe i hav done all the best i can 4 my frnes but is it the same for me...

together wif dem i feel lyk im an outsider, a small child who can't tink. i juz dunno. who noes maybe im oversensitive or wat. i feel betrayed even by someone who i considered to the thing closet to me other den my family. tell me is it the way i treat my frenes wrg? or does my face show ' go on im here 4 u to bully and vent ur angry on'? my whole life now is complicated frm doin chores to my love life. everything is in a twirl now.

Feeling LOST

2006-04-13T20:57:00.000+08:00

im BACK!!!!

lol

the chalet was very fun ... on the 1st nite although we did not reali do anything... but it was very fun! following days did alot of stupid things lyk, go disturb other residents, when to escape to 'take' their soft toys... lol.. ok shall stop here tired will blog more ltr

2006-04-09T18:39:00.000+08:00

ok bye guys and gals off to chalent c u after 13th....

at last a chalet.. =D

2006-04-09T03:05:00.000+08:00

seriously m tired of the things tt are happening lately

FUCK!

stop all shit!... zzz

2006-04-04T02:04:00.000+08:00

my life is the topic 4 the day or shld i say my love life.

i hav been pondering on tis matter when i was walkin home juz now....

in the past i did not reali went to tink abt it or i would gib simple ans when ppl ask me...

my dream gal.....

1st of all wat im gonna tok abt my dream gal will not involve looks al tis... coze it is natural... wat guys look 4 4 looks...

k... my dream gal would be one who would listen to me(and i would listen to her), she does not hav to be liked by my frenes(y i would say ltr). she is one who would noe when to giv bac. one who would control me. =D not all guys lyk tt but i dunno y i like the feeling. sometimes she would ask to walk me hme lyk when we spend late nites wif frenes. but of coze i will not ask her to. juz having or showin me the thought is enuff. i would also lyk her to be demandin and unreasonable at times. coze it would allow me to change 4 the beta? haha... anyway tis are the things my dream gal muz hav 4 the time being.

currently my other half of my life name starts if C.=D it is long and when im stress or upset i noe i can rely on it to destress. when ever im unhappy it would always be wif me although i hav to pay the price. haha.

ok y she does not need to be lyk among my frenes is 1st.. i would lyk to change her. i would lyk to be the person to make an impact in her life. juz lyk in tv dramas. i would lyk to be the person to change her everything. if she changed my frenes would naturally lyk her so she does not hav to be lyked by my frenes.

(personal feeling)most gals would tell me tt most gals look 4 us guys to be their other half.. but i tink not. dey would prefer to look 4 guys whom dey can change their mindset and personality 4 the gd. dey would call us the perfect guy. which im of coze not.. coze of somethings i did in the past.. haiz.

when will my turn come.. ok chao goona tok to my 'mum'. hehe

2006-04-03T17:23:00.000+08:00

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

tired...

wahahha

2006-04-02T07:34:00.000+08:00

finally my com is alrite again...

faster den normal...

juz came bac frm ahzai bbq....
will miss him... lol... not onli me but by everyone... haha

will you stop sayin those things to me... u noe how i feel towards you last time... but u chose not to believe it... now tt i've step aside i will of coze treat u differently... it is not becoze i'm afraid ppl might misunderstand or wat... haiz... wat a messed up world i'm living in...

realize i stop speaking singlish on my posts?

haha... wanna change the way i speak and write...

wanna be a brand new me....

2006-03-31T15:55:00.000+08:00

it's been a boring week...

with ntin to do.....

juz had a hair cut...

wanted to cut tis hair cut 4 a long time... i tink i look beta in my new hair cut... hahaha... ahzai is goin overseas to work... wish you the best of luck and have a gd trip... it has been rainin the past few days... dunno whether i will be able to go sentosa... wanna have a tan again... who wans to go?

i'm feeling very lonely and start to find myself a failure. although i say i cn take up and put down. but i can't hlp having tis type of feeling. maybe it is not time yet. i do not noe... juz got bac my results for sup paper i hav to retake subjects again... fark.... feel lyk findin a nice tall building and jump down... so i do not have to face all tis shit again... life to me now is meaningless... wat do we live for... i knew what i was living for a few years back. but now i'm lost... i do not noe where am i heading or wat are my goals in life...

you said i have changed i find that i don... maybe how i treat u have change. of coze it changed... wat is last time... and wat is now... how can i still treat you u the same...?

2006-03-28T19:35:00.000+08:00

ok la clar im bloggin more now....

i have 4 bro one call ah jun
next call ch
3rd call nick
last clar..

fark la actually wanted to create a story abt the 5 of us... den suddenly no mood liao... fark... ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FARK EVERYTHING.....

ok yesterday went to ktv at town... the rooms compared to katong is uncomparable... sadly it was messed by clar and jh vomit.... ehewwwwwwwwww!!!!! but we had fun singing... ah zai kept on tellin me his voice lyk jay chou la and one more 4get wat name.... he did not sound lyk jay chou nor did jay chou sound lyk him... but the 4gotten singer's name voice reali lyk his... haha... in the end everyone or most ended up slpin in the room coze too tired or they are drunk... at 350 lyk tt took a cabby wif ah loong hme... and slpt lyk a pig... oink! oink!

2006-03-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

i've found the gal who changed my heart of stone back to it's normal self
the guy devoided of feelings have finally found back his true feelings becoze of her

but i dunno wat to do....

i found it hard to tell her how i feel, not becoze of shyness or wat... but it is becoze of frenes and afraid of being hurt again... when im wif her i feel comfortable. a feeling tt is long lost over time... dere is no communication breakdown between us.. dere is always a topic where we can tok abt 1/2 hr and can contiune on... maybe it is becoze lately alot of things have happen? i dunno...

i dunno if she will accept me if i confess my feelings... she she does not lyk some of the things tt i do.... haiz life is so unfair to me... a fortune teller once told me tt my tao hua yun hav not arrive but will be soon... is it her? but i cannot trust wat he says too coze he say alot of gals sercetly admire me.. LOL... and i doubt so.. wat qualities do i hav... i hav none...

reali dunno wat to do or carry on......

2006-03-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

Ahhhhh!!!! finally a new post....

today wenta sentosa and i did not slp a wink last nite... coze i was accompanying jh downstairs my hse yesterday... MAN M I SHACK!!!!! need to slp badly....

went to sentosa wif nick, jh,ch,bh,gillese(srry dunno how to spell),joel, danneth,yimin,esylnn,ben,berlinda,bc,vince and sheryl... man all of us went hme as red as tomato(adapted frm nick's blog)... but we had lots of fun... played lots of game...

after tt we were juz slackin in the water when ch made a big fuss over slimy mud in the sea which is lyk quick sand... everyone was lyk so enxious to try it out... berlinda is short and the area was lyk so deep ... so she sank straight into the sea... so did vince... haha... everyone was lyk cbin here and dere...

o yeah! make sure a girl bath 1st be4 u do coze they can bath damn freaking long. we the boys waited outside the toilet 4 lyk over half an hour be4 one by one dey start appearing... some of us fell aslp while wait... jh etc. haha... den we took a cab down to tampines.. sat in a maxi cab... u noe lyk london cab except it is a merc van cab... 12 ppl sqeezed into the small freaking cab(i say smalll becoze 12 ppl how to fit in).... me nick ch and jh fell aslp in the cab... and it was very uncomfortable... gillese went to on the cab tv and dunno how to turn it off loh... esylnn and yimin were lyk exploring every inch and corner of the cab... haiz... lyk nvr c be4 anything haha =P

went to play dota and WE OWNED!!!! wahahaha!!!!

shall go to slp now coze im very tired....! nites!

2006-03-01T02:25:00.000+08:00

todays dedicated post will be CHOON HWEE...

lol

ok when i 1st met ch i did not reali lyk him at 1st coze he knife me in cs den he will always laugh loud. haha and it irritated me.. but as i grew to noe him i found tt he is a ca xi guo.. haha as one of my frene call him.. he is seldom angry wif anybody no matter wat the person do to him... he is one of the few ppl whom i noe who could tolerate even beyond any ones limit... and i respect him 4 tt... ch is also one guy wo is very loyal and usually kenna taken advantage... he noes but he don mind.. haha maybe sayin tis is wrg... but tis is wat i feel.. the 4 of us ch always say the most funny thigns.. tt makes the 4 of us have very little quarrels amongst us...

2006-02-27T04:33:00.000+08:00

MY ALMOST LYK REAL BROS!

Choon Hwee
Jun Heng
Nicholas

tis post is dedicated to my 3 bros. they are ppl reali i reali rely on... no matter wat frene group we change we 3 will always still be together and as close as ever... DON U TINK SO BROS! haha! we are planning to be BB!!! yeah after tt i can reali call dem my bros.. both of dem i will not tok much abt dem 4 now.. i wanna tok abt jun heng..

among we 4 we can call him big bro... haha... he influence us the most.. but i reali need to thank jh 4 openin up my world... if he did not tell me a lot of things... i tink i will still the pri 1 boy i was... making friends with jh is the greatest thing i have done... of course not 4gettin ch and nick... srry guys tml will not tok abt u yet.. ur dedicated post will be outthe folowing 2 days... haha jh is always askin me to jio tis gal tt gal.. say since my relationship is so si pai ask me go play gals.. haha tis of course i will nvr do or change... lyk today coze we got to noe 2 gals and one is quite chio so he ask me go hong say im good lookin sure can jio until -.-... haha of course i gave him the same old lecture... haha... still say i the most handsome among we 4 LOL....!!!!!!!!!! i don agree... i feel that the one reali most handsome would be jh follow by nick... DON U AGREE???? haha if i handsome i dunno got how many gf liao la heng heng... so wat i reali wanna say is jh ch nick u R REALI REALI REALI MY BEST BROS!!! GLAD TO NOE U GUYS IN MY LIFE... lol tok until lyk i ma cham dieing liao den sayin my last words... haha...

MAIN TOPIC OF THE DAY!

to join or not to join gang... haha we were dicussing it earlier on....

tis tot has been on my mind 4 a long while... my reason of wantin to join is because i rmb a few months bac i got daji.. den the other side got join... and when they ask me i frm where one... i say nvr join... den got no power to say bac... haha... i noe it is not a good reason to join but it has been on my mind 4 a long while... wanted to be under jh LOL... but he don wan say we bro how can i be his underling... haha he say wan yo join join as same rank... haha i noe after tis post a lot of ppl is goin to change deir mindset abt me... my reputation(although i don hav one=D) maybe gonna change bad or wat... but haha i still wanna say... coze tis topic has been on my mind 4 a very long time... anyway im confuse haha... tts all i'hav gotta say...

2006-02-16T01:29:00.000+08:00

seems ages ago since i last blogged. so most probably tis shld be quite a long post.

few days ago went to KTV. LOL had a singing feasta haha.. clarence was not singing at all he was destroying everyone's song... he was quay ah quay dere.. do all the stupid sounds pretending to be a mic tester 4 everyone.. but wif out the extra i tink goin to KTV will be boring.. on the same day won peiliang in billard haha woohoo!!!! but he won me the nx round haha...

on valentine day got no date.. haiz i juz realized tt every v day im all alone .. while other ppl are spending time wif their other halves im also goin out wif those couples couples.. haiz.. felt so lyk a lightbulb on tt day although there are a few dere too.

lonely boy!

ok so here is todays topic.
quiting smoking.

it is the sentence tt is comin out of we smokers mouth since the day we smoke.. nic jh clar everyone and few succeed. or shld i say almost none. non smokers will say we don reali mean wat we say but do they noe the feeling we as in smokers feel when we try to quit but could not. all will say it boils down to determination. true but it is not easy to call up tt determination... dere was once i almost quitted smoking but it was 4 someone... hmmm... maybe we smokers can truely quit smoking 4 someone we love...

MAN!!! my topic was supposed to tell everyone everyone the difficult of quitting smoking and in the end wat i wanted to say was im willing to quit smoking 4 the one i love

2006-01-25T22:16:00.000+08:00

STRESSsssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

man poly life is reali stressful. went out wif my 'family' recently find tt it is reali relax to be bac wif dem but hor still cannot stand tt danting. nvr tink one sia. not to say bad or scold her la. nx day got sch, not lyk she dunno go jio everyone watch movie. wanna ask at least ask lyk when the nx day no sch la. den in the end i kenna call by clar the 2nd kirby.. hai ren the le danting. haiz.

seems lyk every wk me clar ch and nick will always go catch a movie. it started wif moonnight in tokoyo den i not stupid and now they planning to go watch memoirs of gensia( duno how to spell) frm the name i fell that the movie will be quite stupid. oh yeah and i cannot stand danting, keeping on memoirs(*of gensia) here and dere thru out the dinner... nb cannot stand sia... haha tis reminds me of the old days whenever go out wif my family in the end me and my bros will hav a lot to complain abt danting.. hahaha too bad sis.... LOL

2006-01-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

HEARTBROKEN!!!

MAN!!!! im so heartbroken... argh!!! wanna cry my heart out... damn the gal im interested juz found out her name today and noe tt one of my frene is also interested in her... Y IS IT LYK TT!!!!!! haiz wanna jio her but my frene jioin... haiz... i need advice on watta do.... her name is Jillian(shld be spelt lyk tt bah).... KAO lehz... FUCK LA... some more he lyk her after me and he get to noe her first... fuck... KNNBCCB!!!!!

haiz... lately dunnoe y very tired... whole day always lyk wanna slp lyk tt... haiz... spent the whole day wif jh dey all... wat a waste of... all of dem keep on accompanying gal accompany until actually wanna play dota in the end nvr play... 4ever one leh dey... haiz.... HATES!

in case u tink lyk tt also wanna heartbroken... it is because of the pic dey take together... lyk gf bf... KNN.... FUCK FUCK FUCK!

2006-01-14T09:21:00.001+08:00

arghz!!!
I feel fo LONELY!!!!

haiz also dunnoe how to say arghz....

i sound so gay... i will contiune the gayiness... nb everyone kenna bully by u all one... i say wat also got prob... haiz

2006-01-13T05:13:00.000+08:00

im singin in the rain,
juz sing,just sing
in the rain....

crappy weather tis wk... rain the week... maybe heaven is cryin 4 my poor exam markz... ;p weather so cold until wan to make me slp sia.... Chinese New Year comin soon liao... gonna hav lots and lots of money... whahahahhaa.... gotta save 4 my own bike now damn.... mum say don wan buy 4 me liao... sian-ed...

gonna cut hair today... gonna cut it short... yes and tt will be one problem short... haha... haiz... gotta go back and slp... ltr still hab sch... yawns*... nite....

2006-01-12T01:59:00.000+08:00

i shall keep tis blog post short...

lately keeping goin out and ton... lol... but the best ton was wif me jh nick ch and clar...had such fun... went to catch a midnite movie called MOONLIGHT IN TOKOYO... practically the whole cinema is all couple couple... we were lyk the onli ppl wifout our other half... anyway the show was very funny and alittle lame... hahaha....

den we went to take a stroll to clar hse... although the journey is long... we had such fun singin songs... we sung our pri song sec songs alll the songs tt we noe... took pics while walkin too...=D we even tried to catch a snake... den i make made a lame suggestion why don we form a band... hahaha.... anyway while i was wif dem i missed the old 'family' crowd... yea lets have a reunion dinner...

2005-12-23T01:41:00.000+08:00

HAiz

Wat A DEAD blog!!! haha... so i shall blog now since i hab nothing to do...

term test has juz finish and i fuckin cannot relax coze of some stupid java programming projectt... and i fucking reali dunnoe how to do... FUCK!!! gonna fail java!!! sianz... haiz....

i wanna noe tis business gal who juz stay a few blocks away frm my hse... but no guts to tok to her...!!! where ARE MY GUTS!!!??? or do i have any... haha... reali la i wanna noe her
haiz.... im pinnin 4 her.... SOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-30T09:41:00.000+08:00

after so long i finally update... haha...

in msn got tis guy dunnoe who add me... i dunnoe him but he noe me... LOL! den everytime c me online.. cme hihi... dun even noe how he got my email.. man tis pppl are siao one... haha.. juz jkin...

anyway now is study break... fuck and i m not studying even one subj... test comin soon liao how to pass... tml is teacher day concert... also dunnoe whether wanna go a not... haiz...

2005-08-16T20:16:00.000+08:00

today is juz a normal crappy day...

ntin reali happen....

got 2 test.....

which im gonna fail... LOL.... again... hahaz... nvr study... coze the previous day tt ius yesterday i fell aslp after taking my medinice... tml agin got test... sianzzz! haha.. man do i fell lyk sleeping.... but i guess gotta study or else will fail... haiz... y muz the world got test... if no test good liao... if i got a time machine 1st thing i will do is i m gonna go back in times to the stone age... and stay dere 4 gd... coze no need to study.. juz gotta care 4 my meals and home... wahahahaha!!! don u agree???

2005-08-15T20:16:00.000+08:00

I M SORRY.

i noe i shld not hab said certain things to you juz now outside Mac... i don mind u not apologising 4 punching me juz now... coze maybe wat i said juz now may hab hurt ur pride... i m not writing tis post of sorry juz to gain a gd impression on me or wat... i juz cannot bring myself to say srry to u... so i figured this the best way. anyway srry.

2005-08-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

ok since someone complain tt i did not update my blog... i shall do it now...

dad came bac frm work yesterday... and i also fell sick yesterday... juz when i wanted to eat sushi... haiz!!!! anyway i m very happy today...

my dad bought me and my bro our new hp... woot~! thnx dad... we got the w800i... which can act as a mp3 player when the phone is not on and can act as a hp..... wahahahaha!!! good man... wahahaha!!! den we got the 6680 look lyk the 3g phone 6681... not very impressive la... but is a very good phone too... oh yeah the w800i comes wif a 512 mb memory card and is a 2 megapixel phone... WOOOOHOOOO!!! man do i love my dad... at least now he is willing to part a little frm his u noe wat(tis is 4 nick to read)...

2005-08-09T02:58:00.000+08:00

Man m i dead tired...

suppose to go esplanade watch fireworks... becoze fatin hab to go hme early we went to catch a movie... wanted to watch 7 sword... but no more show slots... so we decided on the maid... but full hse... so in the end we caught wedding crasher... or watever the show name was... tis show is a crap show... but it is very hilarious and it is worth watching... haha... had a gd laugh watching the show... the story plot is nice la... describe the show here also not very interesting.. so u gotta go watch the show urself... oh yeah we caught the midnight movie...

so we went hme after the show... decided to walk hme coze save money... lucky went to watch at tampines onli... my legs are aching now... wanna sleep liao... but hair wet... coze juz bath finish... so i m bloggin now... my hands are also all so tired... actually got a lot of typo... coze hand tired den juz anhow press the keyboard... but i corrected the errors...

last but not least... HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE... I M PROUD TO BE A SINGPOREAN!!! YEAH!!! lol...

2005-08-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

had ccn day today... to hlp the needy students in tp...

and my class the stall sold girls accesstories(spell wrongly)... haha and i bought a ring.. lol... buy frm my own class.. haha... not bad ok... hlp the neddy lol... i m the treasurer natually hab to collect money... ended up i keep runnin away... haha.. went to hab a look at other ppl shop... LOL!!! wah ccn day theme lyk chocolate lyk tt sia... almost everyone was selling chocolate foodstuff... copy the century square one... dip the mashmellow into chocolate... lame la...

after tt went to play dota... played well today... haha....

den went hme... wah lao so suay sia i... today ghost festival 1st day onli kanni na... almost wanna die... fuck man... damn scary sia... i walking hme... at the carpark dere... no wind lohz... totally no wind... trees not even moving one single bit... and plastic bags were floating i mean rolling or wat u call it across me here and dere.... NABEI!!! fuck man... den kenna scared by a black cat... WAH FUCK MAN!!! so suay sia...

ok mabel c i updated liao... =D good rite... hehe!

2005-08-02T20:01:00.000+08:00

suddenly my thoughts went kinda grovvyyyy.... HEHE!!!

suddenly juz miss the song hey sexy lady..... LOL!!!

suddenly i missed my gay parnter... double LOL!!!!

suddenly miss the days i go out wif frenes and gay parnters till late night... thirple LOL!!!!

Suddenly my post is full of 'suddenly'... haha.. anyway my days is kind of usual except lots of jokes today... haha... we had a competition who can tell the most jokes... and of coze i lost!!! haha... coze mine were all lame ones... wahaha... reali juz live up to my lamer king title... whahaha... man m i crap... LOL!!!!

Suddenly one of teacher frm a boring teacher became a joker... maybe tt time still don reali noe us so he dare not tell jokes... hmmmm.... lol...

suddenly bds became a chaotic sch!!! wif ms abraham not ard lot of chaotic things happen... got student hit teacher... NOT BAD!!! coze tt teacher sucks... but frankly speakly la... too CHAOTIC la! rmb our time when ms abraham not in sch the sch also not so chaotic... hmmmm... times changes... maybe my generation too hum liao la.. haha... but maybe we more matured... LOL!!!... haiz... students don greet teacher liao... wat is the world coming to... sorry school not world...

ok a change of topic...
====================================================================

went to ndp on sat... GRANDSTAND OK!!! DON PLAYPLAYU ARHZ!!! LOL!!! saw the preview... man it sucks... but at loeast dere were lots of laugh... nicholas and i reali had lots of laugh sia... becoze rainin den grd wet so there is tis part the performs had to jump to a stop... hahahahahahahaha!!! one of the performers jump and slipped onto the grd... noe i m not suppose to laugh... but MAN IT WAS FUNNYY TO SEE THE GUY SLIPPED!!!! lol... another guy in the same performance run run run... den sudden also fall... wahahahhahahahahaha!!! so funny... i and nick were laughin lyk siao dere!!!!! the ppl beside us gave us stares... whahahaha... but i don care... man m i mean...

den dey wanted to do the singapore wave... where it involves the heartlands of singapore... they had one at tampines la... den one in jurong east, yishun and the marina south... marina south was filled wif ppl... while the rest were onli the ppl working dere... coze not actually day mahz... den it was funny to see the ppl do the wave onli got 20 ppl dere den dey do... lyk goodo lyk tt... me and nick again laugh until we cry... haha... mark lee one of the commentors mahz... man he damn cao ah beng sia...

the last funny part was the mps all tis came in la... but not real ndp mahz... so ns pretend to be mps... NB!!! got one of em damn cocky sia... he go wave sia... wave until he lyk the mp lyk tt... the whole stadium laugh... and u can hear it very clearly lohz... everyone was laughin... haha...

nick arhz one bad boy sia... his parents also got ticket he dun wan to go wif dem wan to go wif me... noe y??? coze mine is grandstand his parents not... haha... LOL.... aiyo nick arhz so bad son sia..

2005-07-22T22:28:00.000+08:00

A CLOSE BRUSH 4 ME!

wat is it? i shall not say!

haha... lately i m bored... holiday bored... sch day bored... seems lyk everyday is a boring day to me.. haiz!!! SI BEI SIAN ARHZ!!! haha... everything to me seems boring now... maybe had too much fun during my long term holiday tt is y now very sian... haha dunnoe la... hope something will brighten up up life... hmmm... maybe games or wat... i dunnoe... haiz!~

2005-07-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

EXAM MARKS!!!! ARGH!!!

man my exam marks sucks!!!! man i very scared cannot go semester2 sia!!! argh!!!!

my internet got 37/50..

dfund got 37/50

MATHS THE MOST DIE ONE!!!! 29/100!!!! LOL!!!! MAN HOW CAN LYK TT!!! fuck la!!! damn scared sia!!!! wah!!! muz study harder liaoz!!!!! haiz so stress!!!

2005-07-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

DYING OF BOREDOM!!!!!

SOMEONE HLP ME!!!

MAN!!! holidays are crap man...

Suddenly MISS TP ALOT!!!! man it is a once in a lifetime thing i miss TP!!! lol... anyway today was not as bad as other days... today went wif nick to tamp do same thing play billiard and maxium tune.... den went to play soccer wif yimin dey all....

my billiard form suxs to the core man!!!! ARGHZ!!!!!! today play soccer i consider not bad liao very my standard... LOL!!!!

AND YES!!! LIVERPOOL WIN... although onli champions league qualifyin... but i juz love it when dey win... wahaha... lol...

nx topic i wanna sae i shall not touch on it... coze it is a touchy one... so 4get it... actually a little bit pissed off wif it... so i shall not say

2005-07-11T13:28:00.000+08:00

Holidays are here.....

and man do i wish it is sch time....

rmb i said a few days ago i cannot wait 4 the holidays to start... now i m wishin it is sch time... 1st day of the holiday and i m already bored... MAN!!!... i m bored now... still hab not gone to outram park to pay the fine...lolz...

now i m broke.. nick la... play maxium tune... play until now also no money... haha... actually also cannot blame him... haha.. but the game is sure addictive man... haha... after i played maxium tune... i m all the more certain i wanna buy a EVO when i grow up haha... tink onli can buy when i m ard 35++... haha... but buy in singapore also no use cannot reali race... hahaha... maybe i shall migrate??? to USA??? haha... where i can drive very fast lyk nobody business... hehe...

reali cannot wait till the time where i can do wat i wan... hab my own earning power and such... now go anywhere hab to ask mum 4 cash and it sucks.... haiz!!! REALI WANNA GROW UP SOON...

2005-07-06T18:01:00.000+08:00

wah kao lehz tis damn hsa

fine me still need to go post office collect the letter....

hsa u suck!

2005-07-05T22:49:00.000+08:00

MAN the HSA officer bluff me say will be my name on the letter instead it is my mum name....

LIAR!!!

HSA PPL ARE LIARS!!!!!

luck because of, well me... i got away wif it... LOL... anyway my exam was ok la... can do it... nx wk holiday le.... cannot wait 4 it...

2005-06-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

fine and bored

today went to bugis wif the old crowd after sch... clarence wanted to buy his mp3 player... so we went dere... be4 tt went bac to sec sch wif qin wei to go get his o lvl cert... i was ashamed... and i ought to... coze when i went bac i realised how much i strayed away...

how i became a smoker.

how i started to do stupid things.

how lazy i m.

alll tis things are things i was not.... man was i ashamed... haiz.... nvm anyway back to the topic... wen to bugis after sch... went to play arcade while waitin 4 clarence to buy his mp3 player... MAN was he long... jh of coze lived up to his name la... dun wanna say wat he did... anyway the bored part came... dey went to play lan and i did not... so i waited... man were dey long... wanted to slp sia...

after tt jh and ch went to buy hair dye... ch bought cool khaki while jh bought smoky red... den went to my hse to dye... jh;s turned out too much better den he expected... go hme tink he gonna get scolded... haha... whereas ch one was a failure he wasted 8.80... haha srry ch... he hair did not even change colour... haha... but if u c closer can c a bit of the colour onli... sad ch... LOL... srry arhz...

*oh yeah... almost 4got... ah zai bought tis loudspeaker 4 his mp3 and we were having fun wif it... we(*or rather clarence, ji sheng and yimin) were lyk playin it very loud... and walkin ard bugis... man was shiying spoiler...=X srry jkin onli... she took away the mp3 and we can play liao... anyway yimin manage to bluff bac the mp3 back... and we played the songs again... everyone was starin at us haha... felt embrassed actually... lol den tis ang moh came and tok to us... not scold us... tok to us abt the loudspeaker den say play louder i tink... haha... man was the ang moh ntin but one word COOL~! haha... his muscle damn big lohz... think he beat me i fly liao... haha...

ok ntin much to blog liao.. so i shall end here

2005-06-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

LONER

i m a loner... haiz... i feel lyk i hab grown apart frm my family... no longer feel the warmness in my family... frenes... don wanna tok abt it.... i reali feel lyk a loner now a days... haiz... felt tis type of feelings a lot of time... in tems of relationship freneship and family... it sux... haiz... i m lost in every way...

dunnoe how m i gonna cope wif poly... the emaths sux.... tink i shall nvr go out again... shall juz cope up at hme... and be the home boy i used to be... since i m such a loner.... haiz... y muz lyk tt... i noe i not very social unlyk some ppl... do envy dem sometimes... feel tt i m down on luck since the day i m born...

don tink i will ever tok as much to anyone any more... i feel so down... hab no one to tok to... don wanna tok to anyone anymore tt is the feeling i m feeling... i feel very bastard to do... becoze of some matters... call ppl out... but in the end went wif someone else... i always get tis type of gib ppl bastard.... haiz... anyway i m used to it liao... haha...

LONERBOY

2005-06-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

WAT AN EVENTFUL DAY TODAY!!!!

MAN!!!

I GOT CAUGHT BY THE HEALTH INSPECTERS 4 UNDERAGE SMOKING... haha... i still can say i 18. den go tell dem my ic is 89.... LOL..... haha.... wat a day.... my day wa spolit by it... haiz... poor nick got caught too.... LOL!!! he more scared den me... =P

2005-06-24T19:46:00.000+08:00

updating...

went to the npcc campfire yesterday... MAN! it bored me out... haiz...

my tp test gonna come soon liaoz... zZZ...

went to highlight my hair on wednesday... wahahaha... looks ok la... i feel la... maybe alittle too... erm.... dunnoe.... haha... anyway... i m tired...

2005-06-21T19:36:00.000+08:00

finally gonna have my haircut...

haha.... but dye and highlight dunnoe highlight wat lehz... purple and blue too outstandin liaoz... haiz... i m juz too outstandin to need to dye my hair and make me more outstandin... lol... haha... jkin onli... haiz... i dunnoe la.... anyway tink i m goin to the campfire la....

noe i will be sianed dere... go dere sure no mood or bad mood one... haiz... lately i get fed-up for ntin... get irritated easily... haiz... i reali dunnoe la... go hab to wat... dunnoe go lyk pang seh dem... besides i wanna go meet some frenes in sch... tink i should be goin bahz... haiz....

LOST...... IN..... MY.... MIND.... FARK IT!

2005-06-19T16:28:00.000+08:00

hei tell u wat... i hate sundays...

noe y????

coze on sundays have to think abt goin to sch tml and dere is ntin to do on sundays.... i m dead bored man! on friday went to ton outside... actually suppose to do project den missing on some materials we did not do... haha... TYPICAL SLACKER EXCUSE... hehe...

went to meet clarence a a few others... den went to watch mr and mrs smith... (den something happen i dun wanna say wat is it... left me in a very bad mood... fark man...) anyway... man was tt show damn HOT!!! and i mean real hot... haha... lots of action... cool... although the hse reminds me of the spy kids hide hut or wat... where dere are lots of hidden compartments... haha... after tt went to pasir ris to slack... went dere to eat drink... the usual... stay dere till ard 0400 plus lyk tt den me and nick walk all the way to my hse frm pasir ris... man was my leg pain after walkin 4 so long... haha... anyway we walk till safra dere den sat a cab bac to my hse... use the com awhile and we went to slp... wahahaha... looks lyk a slacking post to me... hehe

man do i badly need a hair... my hair now is in a mess... gosh! my hair is in a mess till i dare not show my hair... haha...

2005-06-11T00:23:00.000+08:00

Wanna say srry to those ppl i made dem worried... PAISEH!!! SORRY!!!

LOL!!!

ok i m srry guys and gals... coze i was stressed wif my poly stuff and tis shit came... i blew my top and got abit... ermm.... emotional...??? nah! juz stressed... reali srry guys and gals...

damn i m juz 3 or 2 weeks(*i 4got) in poly and i hab lots of hwk!!! who the helll told me poly life was not as stressed as JC!!! damn those ppl.... even when i m listenin to the lectures in lec, i still don understand (although not most of it(coze of my intelligent brain =D) LOL!!!) no la... but reali those stuff i dunnoe i cannot get hlp... gosh and i m having pop quiz nx wk... guess wat... it is 4 or 5 pop quiz... GODS IM DEAD MEAT.... *Anyone wanna buy nice juicy meat??? haha anyway... i wish i was bac in secondary sch... u y??? 4 one thing- tt is the holidays... boohooo!!! i see everyone holiday me and the poly ppl hab to study!!! LOL!!!!but at least now i noe tt those students in amercia are not tt relax after all... coze poly is lyk an amercia sch...

ok frm the way i typed i m almost gotten over the stress and 'thing'.... haiz... Serene don cme to poly or u will regret... trust me... don cme to poly... haha... anyway up to u... haiz... i'm tired... shall blog another time... nitez...

OH YEAH! be4 i go... nick u reali look lyk a butch... probably yeah u were a gorious lady in ur previous life... HAHAH!!!! lol.... nitez!

2005-06-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

lalalalla.....

lots of things hab happen lately and most of dem are bad... haiz... y my life so crappy man!!! haiz... rite now very empty... i hab lost all emotions... i m now emotionless... haiz... dunnoe wat i wanna do now... i m now tokin abt my sch work... sch wise i m gettin on quite fine....

my social life reali sucks a lot... tot of gonna to quit smoking... den i dunnoe wat to say... LOL... srry hf i did not follow the promise... it is not becoze wantu or wat... it is juz very hard to explain... it is also not abt whether i m addicated to it a not... which i can safely say no... although i m diein soon... as wat all my non smokers frene say... 1 stick takes away 10 mins of ur life... haha... reali damn sick of my life... dun understand y so sucky man... haiz... although i got my best frenes by my side... i still cannot take it... maybe i shld one day juz go to the highest floor of my flat and juz jump down...

haiz... can anyone gib me the rite advice... i m reali lost! living a lost life now... sometimes i also suspect does my frenes reali lyk me... or are they juz puttin a false front in front of me... i tink tt i m irritatin everybody in my life and they are getting bored of me and such.... my love life sux too... i don understand y ugly guys can get gf which are not bad looking... but not me... i m not sayin i m very handsome or wat... i don feel tt i m handsome... i m juz normal lookin... and i cannot get any... haha... juz feeling jealous of those ppl at the moment...

now to change the subj... i cannot stand tis fucker in my class think he is a very good sportsman and act noe it all.. worse he tinks he is the leader among his own frene grp... LOL... he is not... today juz act pia kia in front of teacher... when he is wearin very toot toot... wear the socks until so high... pants and shirt all tis needless to say... i reali feel lyk beatin him up... not onli me... me and my other frenes too... one of these days he sure kanna gangbang... haha... wat m i sayin all tis 4...

1st time write so much... haiz... maybe lately alot of things hab gotten in to my mind lately...

2005-06-06T23:05:00.000+08:00

PCB now i noe y now a days u nvr blog or c u online... ccb... if nvr go the the guys frenester c the pic i would be stuck in the damn bloody welll... fark man... don even cme and tell me anything... make me the biggest cuckoo on earth!!!!! GO TO HELL LA!!!! NNBPCB! i hate tis type of thing... FARK!

2005-06-06T20:14:00.000+08:00

finally i can blog...

so junheng i m updating now ok???

haha... so sian la... these few day... ntin to do... lyk secondary sch lyk tt go sch stduy... after tt play awhile den go hme... argh!!!!! i m bored... srry bernard nvr go ur hse warming party...

2005-05-30T16:22:00.000+08:00

wahahha... in sch lab usin the com... haha suppose to hab lesson but not listenin... haha

2005-05-27T20:40:00.000+08:00

i m so sian now... i got ntin to do... zzzz... haiz... ppl call me go fishin i also no mood to go... lol......

2005-05-26T22:54:00.000+08:00

FEELINGS

Well hmmmm.... have not felt something lyk tis 4 a long time liaoz... well dere is tis gal at tp which caught my attention... and she caught my heart too... haiz... same course but not same class... no affinity(*maybe spell wrg) bahz... haiz but qin wei is in the same lecture class as her... haiz how i hope to noe her.... when i c her i got tis very happy and yearnin(not to sound despo) feeling... lyk SLY the SUO YI SONG... at the part where it goes... (*translate arhz) is tis love or are u too beautiful...

i seriously need advice on how to noe a gal... so can anyone hlp??? hei and i m not despo ok!!! the previous post was all 4 fun ok...ot

2005-05-24T19:27:00.000+08:00

WHO WANNA GO DOG HUNTING WITH ME???? TYPE OF DOG BEING HUNT

SPEACIAL BREED

MINGDOG

WOOOOHOOOO

2005-05-24T18:54:00.000+08:00

ALRITE LISTEN UP U ASSES!!!! HAHA!!!KIDDING ONLI!!!

but frankly speaking since i m back in sch u will c a brand new me!!! hehe!!!! but reali today i was so surprized tt durin my lectures and stuff i was more attentive den usually.... AND I MEAN IT!

anyway lets carry on.... 1st are my lecturers... my dfund and CKT teachers were the best so far... my dfund teacher best her tutorial onli 10 mins den the rest 4 us go break... so our break was lyk 1hr50mins... good la but nothing to do lehz.... spend my time slpin in the 11 storey library.... haha... with my frene... we both slpt lyk pig sia... haha... we slpt in front of the podium dere... hehe... so shiok man....

the cca i m gonna join (*grins) hehe!!! CHEERLEADING!!! wahahaha... annd dragboating bahz... coze no canoein onli got canoein polo.... and tt is stupid...wahaha... anyway i join cheerleading is c chiobu onli... hehe... wat to do my class no chiobu.... zzzz......

2005-05-22T01:10:00.000+08:00

THE FOLLOWIN OTHER @ DAYS OF THE ORIENTATION WAS BORING... WIF NO CHIO BU 4 ME TO KWA... haha... jkin onli... IT WAS BORING

2005-05-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

DAY 1 of ORIENTATION(nick say macham lyk survivor)

haha... anyway my orientation together was FUN BORING AND QUITE PISSING.... let me go according to my feelings and tell u wat happen....

1st FUN.... when to tp at 0800.... meet qin wei... coze the onli frene same course as me... den lucky met a few church frenes.... quite pity qin wei coze he so poor thing not same class as me and he knows nobody in his class... whereas 4 me i had my church frenes... anyway to get back the fun part... was the cheering and learnin of different responses to different type of qn asked by our mentors.... my course was the most enthu in the whole of ENG...we were and loudest and most participative.... my course has an enrolment of abt 800... den is the biggest lot...

next we move to boring... havin to be lecture by the directors of the school of engineering... lots of ppl few aslp while listenin to them(one of them was qin wei... hehe).... i was lyk goin to doze off... but did not... anyway the lectures were meanin full... make it feel motivated somehow.... so u will c a brand new edmund soon... hehe...=x

last is the pissin part... my course has damn little chio bu... CB!!! and those chio bu are not in the same class as me... argh!!!!.... den while learnin the cheer, some cheerleader walk past... KNN they are hot MAN!! gonna go join cheerleader... hehe=P... den we had a tour ard the sch... saw the sch of design and business ppl... CB the gals all chio one lor... den more gals somemore... i regretted join engineerin man... haha... anyway by hook or crook i m gonna befriend those gals... hehe...=p tt is all for today...

tml we gonna hab a campfire... tink it shld be quite fun... we learn mass dance today... dance until i giddy sia... coze hab to keep turnin.. and my partner is a boy... damn... wished it was a gal... hehe.... anyway SCHOOL OF ENGINEERING RULES MAN!!!!

2005-05-17T03:04:00.000+08:00

ok my day started wif me wakin up at 11am when i slpt at 6am... haha.... den waited 4 ppl call me go out... finally they did but hab to wait 4 mum to be back and eat dinner 1st... anyway after dinner when to meet the guys and gals at pavilion there... sat their 4 a while and discided to play lan game... but the lan centre was full so we head to tm to catch a movie... called the Ami...ville horror... dunnoe the full name...

anyway tis show was the 2nd most scariest show i saw in my life... m not usually scared cion horror movie... but tis show is scary... i cannot stand the part where tis agent was sellin the hse to the couple... is lyk she sell her soul to the devil lyk tt.. don even tell them the full story of how the family got killed... onli say the murder was not impt becoze dunnoe wat la... i c already i wanna slap the agent man! haha... anyway tis show is worth watchin... i would hab contiune to watch the whole show if not 4 my mum who keep callin me to be home... i onli watch 1/2 or 3/4 of the show... FUCK... hmmm.... maybe one day i shall go catch the show again... HEHE..

2005-05-13T19:09:00.000+08:00

today juz a normal family dinner i had...
suppose to go and chiong wif dem... haha... den got thing on somemore no mood go and worst of all no money to go... sobs.. haha... nvm.. nx wk if they goin i tink i will join dem coze i will hab money by den...

2005-05-13T03:54:00.000+08:00

MY LIFE

i reali don understand wat m i living 4 now... i used to noe wat i live 4... i found tt im not the use to cheerful and happy edmund anymore... i smoke drink and do stupid things... tinkin bac i wonder y in the 1st place i started smokin... and i 4got y i started smokin... haha... i do not hab a successful relationship once... and it sux... now i get myself drunk at times... i don understand wat i m doin... or is it m i tryin to avoid certain matters... i cannot find anyone to confide in.... although i noe i hab BEST FRENES to tok to... but i don find deir consoles effective...

i get moody very often now a days... and i don lyk it... i tried to be happy but soon i reverted back to my moody mood... last time i can tell my cousin matters... but she is busy wif her os and such tt i don wanna bother her... i find myself feelin lonely at times... and i would tink is it the change in me tt my frenes distance demself frm me... maybe it is not dem but me distancin myself frm dem... i realize don understand my life now...

anyway poly is startin soon... which means sch is startin 4 me... i hope to revert bac to myself as soon as possible...becoze i don lyk the moody me now...

to the person concern... i don noe if u still read my post but if u do... i wanna say srry tt i broke the promise..

my frenes tell to ask someone tis ' you not my gf u not my mother care so much abt me 4 wat...' i did not ask i do not wan to noe anymore ans to the relationship anymore.... i m reali sick of tis...

2005-05-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY

2005-05-02T21:56:00.001+08:00

MY DAY AT SENTOSA!!!

tis morning onli had 2 hrs of slp coze use com till 0300... den went to slp... abt 2 hrs ltr... got waken up to go bring my dad to the airport... den went hme abt 0700... slpt 4 5 mins? hehe... den wake up... do my mp3 and watch THE LAST SAMURAI.... 3rd time watchn it... to me very touchin show... and got action haha... watch until 0915 den realise gonna be late... so rush wif my packin... wen to the bus stop rmb 4got to bring things... but den lazy to walk all the way bac to the hse... so juz went ahead wif those things...

reach inter met satan jh shiying ch and angela... SHIYING WAS THE LATE QUEEN TODAY!!! haha.... lolx.... anyway went up to meet the rest and got down to sentosa... me and satan share money buy baw kaw... haha.... went to sentosa the siloso(tink spell wrg) beach and we ate our baw kaw dere... hahaha... so funny everyone was lyk watchin us eat... hehe... anyway... we went to swim... wahhh... swim alot sia today... back and fro the island... tiring... wanna eye shut liaoz... ok la... to make it short... everyone had a nice tan and lots of sunburn... coze the weather was hot... and of coze the usually me... i did not get sunburn... hehe... lolx... wahahahhahaha.... ppl may tink sunburn la... coze red red... but my red not pain... the others pain one... so i m the CANNOT GET SUNBURN KING!!! hehe... lolx... lame... juz lived up to my name... k liao... very tired... shall go slp...

2005-04-30T00:54:00.000+08:00

wat a waste of $55!!!!!!!!!!!!

it is not abt the food actually... the food was quite delicious... although i did not eat the lass 2 course.... the desert looks fab!!! but i did not eat... coze i goin away frm tt fucked up place... also not reali place tt is the thing la...

it is those frenes of mine... tot go the dinner the 55 bucks would be worth it... not becoze the food... the the chance to catch up wif my 'brudders'.... i go dere, juz becoze i smoke they don tok to me... and leave me clarence and nick dere.... fuck off... don need u to be frenes... if u were reali my frenes... u would not be lyk tt.. istead maybe ask me to stop smoking(which i doubt i will listen till when i don wanna smoke liao=x).... anyway even be4 all tis happen... i already had little respect frm dem..... juz becoze i m short and not there height so i cannot hab the respect of frene... i gib a idea... say it was childish, lame.... watever shit all come out and scold me... another moment a guy same height as dem gib the same suggestion... all say gd idea... and it was mine!!! wat sort of frenes are they... ok they don tok to me nvm, i go tok to dem... no ans cme out.... hate tis type of shit... at least i got frenes who don despise smokers(althought some are, hehe)...

beta still one of dem still pull me aside explain matters to me... i 4gib and 4get... den wat i get... don tok to me... lyk i m the wall dere... fuck off... if nx time wanna do tis don bother to explain to me the reasons 4 leavin me out of things den don tok to me... coze i m not goona listen... frm now onwards u guys are off my frenes list...

FUCK OFF!

2005-04-29T01:17:00.000+08:00

wat a day!

today went out feeling sick and achin all over... when clarence was cuttin his hair and dyein i slpt lyk a pig... or worse... hehe... anyway after i woke up felt beta la... haha... but still felt sick... when to tampines... to play pool... interval went out to smoke... lolx... haha... after smokin.. kinda of felt even beta... but my pool form reali sux today.... got thrashed by a gal... argghhhh!!! lolx....

anyway ltr cme guo xiong and gang... and more soon came after la... den went to tm 4 awhile to walk walk... den went to meet up wif benedict.. haha... very long nvr sit down tok to him le since sec2... so at least did catch up to la... found tt he suddenly very hardworking.. good 4 him... not lyk me... hehe...

k shall stop here...

2005-04-27T18:43:00.000+08:00

wah lao~

two days never go out liaoz and i m feeling weak all over... after mondays swim... i m tired out man... how weak am i... tink i m sick or something... dunnoe lehz... temperature all ok lehz... den i dunnoe y feel so weak... cannot walk long distance if not tired... haiz... maybe slp too much=x haha... lolx... dunnoe la... but horz... reali very tired sia i... zzzzz.....

2005-04-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

KNNB-PCB!!!!!

i dunnoe noe wat happen to me... but i wanna say... i hate my life... it sux... everything frm the smallest detail to the largest detail... my life simply sux big time... i dunnoe wat came over me... i m lost now... fuck everything....

ppl tell me to ask the person straight... not i don dare... i m afraid of the ans might things tt i don wanna hear....

... dunnoe wat to do....

i throw the white towel liao lar... cb!